Perfecting communication for sex

 
 

 

One of the advantages of being in a committed relationship, especially a long term one, is that the partners grow in sync with one other to the extent they don’t necessarily need to talk in order to communicate that it is time to get freaky.
 
I am not just talking of the missus looking at you from across the table during the Christmas party for you to understand she thinks that second helping of chocolate cream cake (my favourite), or that extra bottle of Barneys you’re signalling the waiters for, is a bad idea. Anyone who hasn’t already guessed that I’m about to discuss sex next obviously hasn’t read my column before. In which case, go catch up with the gist you’ve been missing.
 
So, they say men are easy. By ‘they’ I mean the men themselves. Seriously, a dude will carry on as though all he needs to get his condo up and running is a nod from his woman. Thankfully, our Naija gals are more creative than that, going by these stories from the husbands on how their wives communicate when ‘it is hooking them.’
 
 
John: When she tickles my erogenous areas, engages in amorous plays, and the looks in her eyes. For instance, when we're in the kitchen and I'm trying to cut the carrot or vegetable for her. Sometimes, she hops on my back and touches my nipples or breasts. Then, I would be like, 'leave me o'. And she’d retort, 'Is it not my toy? I can play with it anyhow'. Sometimes she'd just cast her gaze on me and would just say, 'You know, you're beautiful baby'. I'd reply, 'You're more beautiful'. She would come closer, with that her gaze and ‘whispers of love.’ We'd hold ourselves very intimately. She would fondle my ears. Sometimes, when we come back from work or church or an event, she'd want to be the one to help pull my clothes off and she does it in an amorous way, you know.
 
 
Lanre: To be honest, she gets veerrry polite, veeerry caring, seats much closer to me while watching TV. Normally, we each have our favourite TV couch. When she seats on mine, then I know it is time. She remembers to wear her nightie an hour to bed time. She’d wear it to walk around the house, not just in the bedroom. One clear sign is when I hear soft music coming from the bedroom.
 
 
Tito: We still do our ‘good morning’ sex thing. She usually just begins with grabbing my junk, playfully of course. Like, I'm watching TV or taking a shower, and she walks into the bathroom and starts grabbing at it, saying she wants to help me scrub. I toss water at her, telling her to get lost but she knows it’s all act. She just gets into the bathtub and begins to stroke it. Well, the sight of a woman in a wet night-gown is hard to resist. We usually just do it there in the shower.
 
 
Steven: She does her eye thing. Or she takes a bath, dresses up with sexy lingerie and starts parading around the house aimlessly. She also tends to brush against me every chance she gets, even if I am not in her way at all. If I appear to not notice all the drama, she usually walks up to me, does the eye thing I mentioned earlier, and asks 'anything for me today so?' If we're already in bed, she rolls over me and whispers, 'you know say na me get every'. If I’m tired, I would start pleading with her because she takes what she wants. At such times her intent are as clear as the noon and sun. Then there is the food one. Any time she calls me at work and says, 'tell me what you want me to cook for you today. Anything oh'; I know something is up. So, I usually try to close early.
 
Hmmm. If only televisions and showers/bathtubs could talk.
 
 
Culled from DailyTimes